Eleven Things You Can do to Build Irresponsibility in Your Children
by Dr. Jane Bluestein


Lie for them.

Make excuses for their behavior.

Correct (or pay for) their mistakes for them.

Model a lack of responsibility, commitment and follow-through yourself.

Refuse to believe that they are capable of doing what they’ve been accused of doing.

Fight their battles for them.

Tolerate and excuse abusive or unacceptable behavior from them or others in order to avoid additional conflict.

Be sloppy about holding them accountable for their behavior, especially if you’re tired, frustrated or starting to wonder if it’s worth the bother.

Routinely let them get away with things if they have a good enough excuse.

Do their chores and take on their responsibilities. Tell yourself it’s easier to do it yourself.

Let them have privileges anyway, even if they haven’t followed through on their commitments or what was required first.

Use rationalizations like, “Just this once,” or “OK, but this is the last time.” Add, “I really mean it this time,” even though you don’t.


© Jane Bluestein, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. www.janebluestein.com

A dynamic and entertaining speaker, Dr. Bluestein has worked with thousands of educators, counselors, healthcare professionals, parents, childcare workers and other community members world-wide. She has appeared internationally as a speaker and talk-show guest, including several appearances as a guest expert on CNN, National Public Radio and The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Jane is an award-winning author whose books include Creating Emotionally Safe Schools; High School’s Not Forever; 21st Century Discipline; Being a Successful Teacher; Parents in a Pressure Cooker; Parents, Teens, & Boundaries; The Parent’s Little Book of Lists: Do’s and Don’ts of Effective Parenting; Mentors, Masters, and Mrs. McGregor: Stories of Teachers Making a Difference; and Daily Riches: A Journal of Gratitude and Awareness. Dr. Bluestein’s latest book is entitled The Win-Win Classroom.

Formerly a classroom teacher (in inner-city Pittsburgh, PA), crisis-intervention counselor, teacher training program coordinator, and volunteer with high-risk teens at a local Day Treatment Program, Dr. Bluestein currently heads Instructional Support Services, Inc., a consulting and resource firm in Albuquerque, New Mexico.